Tuesday, September 27, 2011

My Pet Mammoth

       My pet Mammoth


My pet mammoth is silly

so I called him Billy.

Billy can walk on two legs and drink tea.

Billy adores me.

He goes where ever I go

but some times I say NO!

He keeps me company when I am sick

and when I'm bored I teach him tricks.

His favourite food is sheep

and eating makes him go to sleep.

He ways 100,000 tons

and he is a lot of fun!

By Savannah.

8 comments:

  1. What a amzing poem thet can rhhyme and is sounding great.
    You are great at it.
    You don't have any thing to improve on because that poem is outstanding.

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  2. Hey Savannah,
    I really enjoyed your poem because the rhyming it made keep on reading it that can be what I liked about your poem. You did so well I don't have any feedback for you.



    From Michelle @ stonefields school

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  3. Wow,Savannah this is a fantastic poem. Your one rhymes in every line! I think you could make your poem a bit shorter so people don't have to spend a lot of time reading your poem.

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  4. Hi Savannah
    What a fabulous poem you wrote and my favorite part was when the words rhymed and when you wrote my pet mammoth is silly so I called him Billy, and I also liked the part where you wrote he goes where ever I go but some times I say NO!. And
    that was the two parts that was the best out of your poem and I think that you should keep writing poems and I think that you should be the poem writer, because you had detail about you pet mammoth and that was the topic you chose to write about just the topic you chose and that was a really great thing that you thought about and you wrote just about your pet mammoth.
    From Roquia at Stonefields school.
    Well done Savannah.

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  5. Awesome poem Billy sounds like an awesome pet! I think I would like Billy as a pet. :)

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  6. Hi! Savannah. Your poem was so amazing! You had some rhyming words like sheep and sleep. This is the best poem I had ever seen but did you get any help from Miss Rennie?

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  7. Hi Savannah
    I thin that you are great at making poems and I enjoyed reading your poem by think that it was a fabulous poem and I think that you did a really great job writing my pet mammoth is silly so I called him Billy and that is the part that I thought that you did a fabulous job.
    From Roquia at Stonefields school

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  8. Hi Savannah,

    that was a great rhyming poem. Also it is really interesting and it was fabulous. Did the pet Mammoth had a name before he was named Billy? What is a Mammoth and can it really be a pet? I think you don't need to improve on something because it was outstanding to me.

    From Noeramiah at Stonfields school.

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