Friday, August 12, 2011

Recount Writing: Holidays

Here is Muatau to share his recount of the holidays with you. Has he used all the features of a recount? If so, leave him a comment.


Muatau’s day off school.
On my holidays, on Wednesday was the best day ever because me and my  family  went out shopping at Silvia Park on 12 0’clock,The road was  as  wet as a pond and it was cold. Meanwhile my little sister was at school. We went to Dick Smith to get our new TV. It was as busy as a traffic jam. I was playing on a play station, it was free .While I was playing I was afraid that  my parents will leave without me.I watched as other people were watching the TV in display on the shelf.

Five minutes later I was in the car. My dad and mum had a walk behind Dick Smith, then we stopped,that’s where we got our TV. It was quite heavy. We drove home for about a few minutes, we past one of my friends house from my old school.Then we got to St Johns, that's where I live.

I was sitting on my couch watching TV, but the antenna was not on the  roof, so I had to climb onto the roof of my house. It was terrifying; I was so scared I thought I was going to fall. After that I went back to
watching TV. I felt fine and it was nice to relax and watch.

By Muatau

5 comments:

  1. Hello Muatau,
    That sounded really interesting. But if you were at dick smith and your sister were at school was she at after school care? next time maybe you could say something so we know were your sister was.
    The thing I really liked about your recount was that you said what you did at home as well as at dick smith good job.

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  2. Hi! Muatua I think that you really did well on details that you made but I think that if you could put in more interesting words that would be very good.

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  3. Hi Muatua I really like your story you put in lots of detail but where was your sister was she at after school care or was she at school? I really like your first paragraph because you put in lots of detail and lots of interesting words.I really liked the part where you wrote it was terrifying and I think you did a really great job writing lots of detail ,making people interesting and making me feel like you were talking to me And I think that you should keep the great work you are doing for writing.
    From Roquia at Stonefields school

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  4. Hi Michell,
    My sister was at day care and my sister Aoumalu was with me.
    Thank you for your comment.

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  5. Hi Roquia,
    Yes My sister was at school but my sister Aomalu was with me.
    Thank you for the comment.

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